Dry Wells...
 

Sometimes I find myself trying to get water from a dry well and then cursing the well. In the moment, it doesn’t occur to me to find a new source of abundance elsewhere. And even when it does occur to me, it seems impossible to know where to find it.

But sometimes, abundance doesn’t come from one particular source. Sometimes it’s found in movement. Just the act of moving my body from
the space I’m in to a new space gets things flowing.

Doesn’t even matter for how long or where—an hour or permanently, across the house or across the globe. Knowing that we can give ourselves the gift of abundance just by moving our bodies can keep us from feeling hopelessly stuck and longing for something more.

Of course, getting up and taking ourselves somewhere new, even if it’s just across our house, can be extremely challenging for some of us. But whenever I pry myself away from the dry wells in my life, I never regret it.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
My Shadow
 

My Shadow

If you see me out and about, please be careful not to step on my shadow because it gets hurt easily and it’s very tired of being walked over again and again.

-JLK

(From Feed It to the Worms, a collection of very short stories for small children.)

 
Jessica Kane
The Spring at the Bottom of the Well
 

Once there was a land where the gravity was extra strong. I mean, it really pulled people down. Not politely, but without warning.

People would be going along with their day, feeling a little better than ok. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, this gravity would hit and pull them down hard.

And they’d have to fight with all their might to resist this force so as not to get pulled down too far and wind up in some awful unknown place they’d never be able to escape from.

Well, over time, the people got sick and tired of this gravity, for always interrupting their dinner dates and their good night’s sleep and all the other things they felt so inspired to do.

And so the people, heartbroken and frustrated, decided that this constant getting dragged down against their will had to stop.

“It’s become too big of a problem,” they all agreed. “We simply cannot allow this gravity to continue!”

“Down with gravity!” one man shouted. And everyone in all of the land cheered.

So, it was decided. A team of several energetic people got together, and rather quickly, came up with a concrete plan to defy this meddlesome gravity once and for all.

They created what became known as The Community Line. Which consisted of concrete poles threaded with suspension wires placed strategically all over the place. And with wires secured to harnesses around everyone’s waist, people were able to hook into these lines and defy gravity.

And it worked!

People woke up in the morning and they hooked themselves into the community line, and once they were secured, they went on with their day. And every time gravity tried pulling them down, they’d laugh defiantly, “Ha! Can’t pull me down now, can you?! Not today!”

But in time, some of the people developed another problem. Being hooked into the community line day in and day out was kind of boring.

And even though they could travel pretty far and even vacation to luxurious places on the community line, it always kind of felt like more of the same, predictable stuff.

And some people began to privately long for what life used to be like outside the community line.

And one day, one particularly bored and curious young woman decided to ask around and find out what exactly did exist outside of the community line.

Unfortunately, everyone she asked was more than a bit perturbed by her question.

“Who cares what’s out there! You should just be lucky to have a community line!”

“What’s out there, you ask? Only a reckless irresponsible person would dare find out.”

“If you’re foolhardy enough to unhook and get pulled down, don’t expect us to come rescue you!”

But the next morning, the girl’s curiosity got the best of her. And she did it. She simply had to find out for herself. So, she unhooked herself from the community line and began taking steps on her own.

Oh, was it exhilarating!

She decided to venture off the town paths and over to those parts she’d never heard about. And it was magnificent!

Off the path were dirt roads with bright green unmowed grasses on either side and giant trees and butterflies and birds and chipmunks…!

But right as she became so happy—skipping and even humming—gravity struck. And it began pulling her down.

She panicked at first. “Maybe I shouldn’t have unhooked from the community line. What if they were right and I get stuck down here and no one will know and no one will ever find me!”

But then she had an idea—maybe I should just see where the gravity takes me!

So she let the gravity pull her down. And down. And into what looked like a dark well. But the funny thing was, when she stopped resisting, she realized that gravity was actually trying to show her things.

There was sadness down there that she’d never felt and she was able to give it a hug.

There was anger down there and she asked it what was wrong and then listened to find out.

There was fear down there and she asked what was so scary and they fact-checked it together until they both realized it wasn’t actually scary at all.

But as she headed to the very bottom of where gravity pulled her, she suddenly noticed something… Something she was about to crash into!

And she braced herself for the worst kind of pain.

But then, something unexpected happened.

It was a spring! And once she landed, she immediately bounced right off the spring! Not in a violent or rough way, but in an oh so gentle and effortless way.

And there she was—defying gravity!

Soaring up up up past all those feelings and sensations until she was back where she was before—among the trees and flowers and birds, only they seemed even more miraculous!

“That was very strange,” the girl said out loud. “And fantastic!”

She decided to keep walking. But this time, she hoped gravity would pull her down again, because she was so curious what would happen next.

It took a little while, but sure enough, gravity came for her again.

Only this time, she didn’t resist at all!

She passed some sadness, but this time the sadness seemed so happy to see her that it gave her a hug!

Then she passed anger who perked right up when she asked how it was feeling.

And then she passed fear who was so happy to report that all those scary things had stayed not scary.

And then, she saw it—! The spring! And knowing she wasn’t going to crash, she waited for her toes to make contact and sure enough, she soared gently upwards upwards and upwards with the biggest smile on her face.

Once back in familiar territory, she decided she had to go tell everyone what happened. She had to let them know that they didn’t need to stay hooked up to the community lines to keep gravity from pulling them down. That gravity wasn’t a bad thing! It had important things to show us!

Oh, she couldn’t wait to tell everybody about the spring at the bottom of the well!

The young woman ran into town. Or, maybe it would be more accurate to say she danced into town, so joyful to share her good news! Only, when she did, the people were a lot less receptive than she thought they’d be.

“Cutting yourself off from the community line? Are you that ignorant?”

“Not to mention arrogant!”

“If you breathe a word of this to my kids, I’ll have you arrested!”

“You know, a lot of people work their whole lives to maintain these community lines. Maybe you ought to show some gratitude!”

No matter how hard the young woman tried explaining what she’d discovered, the people refused to listen.

“It’s so strange,” the young woman thought. “No one wants to unhook to even consider that it could be true, the there’s this spring at the bottom of the well.”

And in her despair, gravity began to descend.

And she felt so disappointed, she didn’t even feel excited about seeing the spring anymore. So she just hooked herself back into the community line and went to the community park and sat down on a community bench.

“Maybe they’re right. Maybe it’s not so bad here. Why need to go mess things up.”

But then, she noticed a mom and her little kid in the distance… Not hooked up to the community line!

“What in the world?”

And so she unhooked herself and ran over to get a closer look.

“Hello?”

“Well, hello!” said the mother.

The young woman could see now that the woman was with her daughter who couldn’t have been more than 6.

“You’re unhooked?!”

Yeah, my daughter hates the hook. For years, she just screamed and cried and kept figuring out how to unhook herself. It was a daily battle. I even bought these special childproof locks, but then she got so depressed… The community line definitely wasn’t protecting her from any gravity, but no one understood. So finally, one day, I unhooked her. And I just sat and cried and cried, feeling like such a failure. And my daughter rubbed my arm and said, “That’s good mommy. Crying is good.”

And I said, “It is?”

And she said, “Yes! That’s how you get to the spring at the bottom of the well!”

The young women had shivers hearing this story.

“So… you’ve been to the spring?”

“Oh yes, ever since my daughter showed me how to get there, we go often. It’s changed my life.“

“You’ve been to the spring?” the little girl asked the young woman, with such curious big brown eyes.

“Yes! I have!”

“It’s wonderful, isn’t it?”

“It is,” the young woman agreed.

“You know,” the little girl said. “Most people think that gravity pulls you down, but really that’s just how gravity sends you an invitation to the only place that can send you soaring higher than you’ve ever been!!”

“You’re pretty smart!” said the young woman.

“Thank you!”

“But I told so many people about the spring, and no one cares.”

“I understand,” said the mother. “My daughter tells people about it everyday and they just smile and laugh. It’s an odd thing. But I stopped trying to get anyone to care. Not everyone needs to unhook from the community line and go to the spring, you know. But it’s available to anyone who wants to take the journey.”

And from that moment on, the young woman visited the spring every day. And she didn’t need to convince anyone to take off their harness and unhook from the community line.

There was nothing wrong with the community line. It served an important purpose. Even for her. But so did the spring at the bottom of the well. And she felt grateful to be able to visit. And grateful to bring some of that spring back with her to share with anyone who might need it.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
Falling Leaves
 

Once there was a girl who was feeling really sad. She’d been sitting on a bench and couldn’t find any reason to get up. In fact, she knew if she got up, she would only find more sadness, so she just stayed put.

Then, one afternoon, during a big yawn, she noticed something floating in the sky. A ribbon? Something purple, or maybe even gold… and shiny... What in the world?

She couldn’t take her eyes off of it. Oh, the way it danced—so magnificent—as if it were performing on the greatest stage in all the land.

As she watched this ribbon, she noticed it was twirling in the air closer and closer. Then, the ribbon did something miraculous—it floated down and landed right in her lap. And when she touched it, she couldn’t believe how soft it was—as if made of the finest silk.

Oh, was she excited! As if witnessing a miracle! Like a pet that had chosen her! Her, of all undeserving people! She felt so grateful, and she closed her eyes and thanked it for choosing her.

After that moment, the girl felt happy enough to leave her bench. She took the ribbon on walks. Held it during tea. Even slept with it around her wrist in bed. So long as she had her magic ribbon, all was ok in the world. She felt safe, special, and happy.

Then one day she, she was strolling through the park when she noticed something else in the sky. It was only for the most brief instant, but the moment she tried to see what it was, she loosened her grip from her ribbon just as a wind began to blow, and after the ribbon fell to the ground, it began to twirl and blow away.

The girl panicked, running after the ribbon and apologizing. “Please don't go! I shouldn’t have stopped to look at anything other than you! You, are all I need!”

The girl continued to chase her beloved ribbon, but it was already twirling too high to reach.

The girl then tried climbing a nearby tree to see if she could catch it, but she lost her grip on a branch and fell to the ground, skinning her knee.

On the ground, she cried. Not because of her bloodied knee, but because she knew it had been too good to be true. Of course the only good thing to happen to her would disappear from her grasp, just like everything else always did. “Who am I, after all, but no one. Deserving of nothing.”

The girl decided it was more sensible to return to her bench. And there, she stayed.

A few days later, an older man wearing a brown fedora walking two little furry white dogs sat down on the bench next to hers. The man noticed the sad girl crying on and off. And so he decided to say something.

“You seem awfully sad,” he said softly. “Did you lose someone or something special?”

The girl nodded, too upset to share any of the details.

“I’m sorry. I understand. I lost something special recently, too.”

The girl looked up at him, curious.

“My dog passed. He was my best friend for 19 years. He got me through my wife’s passing. Never left my side. And then one morning, he didn’t wake up.”

“I’m so sorry,” the girl said.

“Thank you. You know, after he passed, I used to come to this bench and all I could think about, and all I could see, was what was missing. My wife. My sweet dog, Charlie. I was hurting a lot. And then one day, I saw a dog. Across the park. Without an owner.

“At first, I didn’t get up. I figured his owner was probably nearby. But no owner ever showed up. My hips were hurting that day, so I decided to whistle. And sure enough, that dog came running.

“He was dirty but full of life and love. He kept nuzzling against my leg and I wondered if I still had some treats in my jacket pocket, and lo and behold, I did. So I gave him a few treats and he wouldn’t leave my side. He didn’t have a collar. And when I got up to walk home, the dog followed.

“I wound up bringing him in and that dog wouldn’t leave my side. Oh, my mind came up with all sorts of conclusions: This was my dog, reincarnated, coming back. This dog was sent by my wife. This dog was meant for me.

“But of course, after I posted that I’d found him in all the community threads, his owner contacted me, so grateful. Explaining that the landscaper had forgotten to close the gate.

“At first, I was really sad. But then I told myself I’d better get used to it. That loss was inevitable from here on out. And that there probably wouldn’t be much to gain in the little future I had left.”

The girl didn’t know what to say. Except that she somehow related a bit to what he was talking about.

“The following day,” the man continued. “I decided to go to the park. It was a beautiful day. Even in my misery, I figured I’d take a brief walk. Why not. And I stopped to rest on a bench, when a few moments later, a man sat down on the bench next to mine with a couple small dogs.

“I still had some treats in my pocket, so I asked the man if I could give a few to his dogs. The man nodded, too busy on his phone to care, and the dogs took a liking to me. I mean, a real liking to me. They both had their noses resting on my knees just staring up at me. I had to laugh. ‘You have two wonderful dogs,’ I said to the man.

‘They were my mother’s. She just passed.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ I told him.

‘We have a 10yo daughter with a dog allergy, so I’m trying to find them a home where they can stay together,’ he said.

And without hesitation, I said, ‘I would be glad to adopt them both.’

“You should have seen that man. He stood up and stared up at the blue sky, clasping his hands together. He couldn’t get over the timing. He really thought it was a miracle.”

“Wow,” said the girl. “Well, it kind of was, if you think about it. And are these those dogs?”

“They are indeed,” the man said, petting their heads. “That was six months ago. And I learned something very important. After my dog passed, I was sure nothing good would ever cross my path again. But good things are always blowing in. They just might look different from what you think you should be looking for. So that’s why you’ve always got to stay alert. You have to take a break from your sadness sometimes to look around to notice what might have entered your space. That way, you can connect with it and see where it leads.

“You’ve got to be a different kind of treasure hunter. Not just to keep finding what’s missing and what’s wrong, but to discover what’s new and what’s full of possibility.”

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” the girl said, wiping off a tear.

“You’re more than welcome. I had a feeling it was something you needed to hear.”

The girl nodded. He was right. Something about what he’d said made a lot of sense.

And so she decided to take a break from her sadness to pay attention to what else was happening. And right then, a red leaf fell beside her on the bench. She looked at it and smiled.

“Red leaves. Aren’t they beautiful?” the man asked calmly.

“Yeah,” the girl smiled.

“The process of things changing, turning from one thing to another. All the cycles, phases and stages life goes through. Not just ours. But all of life... It really is an unfathomable mystery.”

“That’s very true,” the girl said.

The girl then carefully placed the red leaf between the pages of her journal. This time, not because she believed the leaf was going to keep her happy. But as a reminder of what the man had shared—that all of life is constantly entering a different cycle, phase and stage. And yes, there is sadness. Lots of sadness. But also beauty. And so many other things, too.

We can play favorites and have loyalties to just one experience. But, if we can pay attention and begin to let in more of what’s also happening right now, we open the space of our awareness to embrace more of life. And all of life has something to offer.

All these ingredients together are exactly the things we need as we travel to our next chapters.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
When My Ancestors Are Proud...
 

Every once in a while, I feel myself shedding my old beliefs and feeling lighter.

And I imagine the generations of women who came before me, who suffered so greatly and never got to taste the freedom of who they were without all those restrictions their circumstances placed upon them.

After my mother passed, I heard her voice so clearly, so urgently wanting me to understand all the things she was mistaken about so that I could make sure not to repeat any of them.

And the dialogues we had opened my mind to the possibility that life really is about shedding all that doesn’t serve our ultimate purpose--to expand and to understand and to contribute the best versions of who we are.

And that if we can't quite complete this mission here on Earth, there is still a window of opportunity after we shed the weight of our bodies to see clearly and to share our clarity through connecting with our loved ones, if they're in a position to hear.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
My Villageless Family Album
 

I made this half-amused, but also in mourning for those of us doing the best we can compensating for the village we long for but haven’t yet found.

 
Jessica Kane
Invisible
 

So many people have tried so hard to be part of the world, and over and over again

they’re not responded to.

And they walk around, not quite sure if they even exist,

feeling like the only frown in some dance of laughter.

Sometimes just a nod makes all the difference between someone feeling invisible and knowing they exist.

 
Jessica Kane
Vows to myself...
 

A piece about shifting one’s focus away from working things out with one’s partner or not working things out with one’s partner and instead focusing on the relationship with oneself:

So many people in relationships are reactive. And they can’t seem to work it out. But they stay together anyhow.

Sometimes I wonder if what’s going on can be cleared up with a little reframing.

Chances are if you’re having the same upsets and triggers over and over again, your partner is triggering your past unresolved trauma. And you’re triggering theirs.

So you’re not really fighting with each other. You’re fighting to be valued and you’re fighting for your dignity from a time in your life where you felt disrespected and invisible.

Your trauma and your partner’s trauma literally get mortised together to create its own trauma. But even so, it’s based on the circumstances from your own separate pasts.

The only solution I can think of reminds me of that old Buddhist parable: A father and his daughter were in the circus doing a trapeze act and they were both so worried about the other slipping and dying that they couldn’t feel at ease performing.

Of course the marriage/partnership situation is a bit different bc both people are worried the other person is trying to ruin the other’s life lol, but I think the words of the wise person that the father and his daughter sought guidance from applies to both:

You each have to take care of yourselves. Not each other. Only then can you have enough clarity and autonomy to perform at ease.

And in the context of a marriage/partnership: You have to heal yourself. It is literally impossible to heal your partner. In fact trying to do so will only further damage you both.

And so I think what even the most tumultuous relationships might benefit from is this: a deliberate agreement between each other that states—“If I am triggered, I will say nothing to my partner. Not a word. Instead, I will immediately go inside myself and self-soothe and work it out with myself.” And vice-versa.

You cannot work out a past trigger with someone who wasn’t even present in those old scenes. That trauma is for you to work out with yourself. And the same goes with the other person.

Both people can still express themselves and their needs, but not their triggers.

And if you’re not sure about the distinction, you can feel the difference. A need is: I need help with the dishes. A trigger is: They never support me. I’m all alone here.

A need is: Ok. I will do the dishes. I have to finish a few things first. A trigger is: All they do is demand things of me. I’m not appreciated.

A need is present time. A trigger has the emotional artillery behind it from decades past.

This technique isn’t to save your relationship with your partner. It’s to save your relationship with yourself.

Because feeling safe and autonomous in your own body is what’s necessary for you to enjoy your life.

And the added bonus is: If you can both do the work to practice being autonomous, then you may just find out what happens when you’re both autonomous together in the same room—you’re available in present time to enjoy the space you’re both inhabiting together.

When you stop investing all your energy into trying to turn another person into who you wish they would be for you, you can use that energy to invest in something that’s much more based in reality. And that is to invest in the relationship with the only person who you can change—yourself.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
So upset about what happened in Uvalde...
 

I’ve been thinking about the hours I listen to my son talking to other kids online. I don’t let him wear headphones and this is so I can listen and intervene when necessary.

I know not everyone can or would want to listen to what’s often a bunch of loud annoyingness interspersed with occasional adorableness and a lot of negotiation-building skills.

But I also hear a lot of reg flags.

I hear kids trying out being mean to each other. I hear them leaving each other out on purpose. I hear them being exposed to inappropriate material and turning it into a joke bc they don’t know how to process it. And I hear them laughing at people when they’re being vulnerable.

I’m able to intervene. And I do. Some call it helicopter parenting but sometimes, in my opinion, a fucking helicopter is what’s needed these days.

Bully behavior starts young. So do ways of concocting unsavory styles of defending oneself. Like purposely hurting someone after you’ve felt hurt. Or wanting to sabotage someone in micro-acts of revenge.

It’s junior caliber now, but if it goes unchecked, what might these kids grow into? A benign asshole? A perpetrator of domestic violence? A corrupt politician? Worse? Who knows.

My son has me to process all this stuff with him and I go to extremes to make sure he’s heard and validated and I make sure to help him understand the situation through my own perspective.

But some kids don’t have a parent to process with. I know I didn’t.

In fact a handful of times, I’ve heard kids get interrupted by a parent who storms in the room yelling, “Get the fuck of that fucking computer!”

I’ve heard parents refer to their kids as cry babies and tattle-tails and idiots.

In fact you can tell what kind of role-modeling the kid has by what comes out of their own mouths: Suck it up. Stop being a spoiled brat. You’re so stupid! You f-ing idiot! Don’t be such a baby. Etc etc.

I’m not really interested in words like ‘mental illness’. In fact I highly dislike that duo of words.

To me, here’s what exists: there’s actions and there’s consequences and there’s coping mechanisms and there’s support structures and there’s basic needs and there’s the passing of time.

When something bad happens to a kid, and there are consequences without support structures and the kid is also without resources to get their basic needs met, plus, has no skills to understand what’s happened or keeps happening to him—if this kid’s pain gets unbearable enough, over time, the kid will resort to coping strategies that can range from self-soothing, to self-destructing, to the destruction of others.

And in a society where the village has all but become extinct, and parents don’t have the resources they need for themselves let alone their children, and you’ve got social services that require a degree just to navigate the bureaucracy to access it… people will gravitate towards ways to cope with their pain that are much easier to access, like drugs and alcohol and distracting devices like screens and gaming…

And what about those tragic few who have become so completely unhinged, and are drowning in the hell of their circumstances with zero support and zero resources and their brains haven’t even had an opportunity to develop clear thinking?

Well, we already know what happens. They’re not going to go and meditate. Or stand in line to see a social worker.

They’re either going to become an addict of some substance that makes them feel better than their pain, or they’ll wind up in prison and maybe find some support in there, but for those few totally fucked up people, maybe they purchase an assault rifle and maybe they turn it on themselves or maybe they unfathomably turn it on another or unspeakably turn it on a group of innocent grocery shoppers or on a group of beautiful thriving innocent kids.

But to me, the flip side of this sickening awful equation is just as tragic. These politicians. These negotiators of policy that could in fact provide services to meet the needs of these parents and kids at these moments when they’ve fallen through the cracks.

Of course that’s not usually what happens bc what we’ve got a lot of, is politicians who are also not thinking clearly, who’ve also fallen through different kinds of cracks.

Who knows what some of these guys have gone through as kids—what actions led to which consequences—so that they’re now avoiding their own personal pain using coping strategies like getting elected on platforms that sound an awful lot like secret revenge for everyone who was dumb enough not to believe what they were capable of…

Standing before their constituents speaking revenge-talk disguised as morality, and finding every like-minded pissed-off person to agree with their tough love agendas, and with their promises to protect what they all worked so hard for, before it’s taken away by ‘them,’ whoever that is.

The intention of these sorts of agendas don’t sound to me like the goal is to contribute to society, but instead to make sure that what they personally stand for is so beyond criticism that their unresolved personal pain gets to be soothed by the loyalty of their constituents who believe their words to be so true, they figure they must be ordained by god himself.

Well to me, its disgusting. It’s one dysfunctional context feeding the other.

And it trickles down so that society’s investment becomes to protect this ‘moral’ fiber (aka the personal agenda of politicians needing to feel important and adored) instead of investing in mental health education in schools and in free access to health care (mental, physical, etc) for all, childcare and support for families, decent working wages and yes, gun control.

And I don’t see things getting much better so long as people are not based in reality.

When people are incapable of getting off their platforms to talk about what’s underneath them, when they’re speaking words to protect some unresolved pain or insecure part of themselves instead of speaking through values that care for all people. And they speak these words to other scared people who are going to run out to support their agenda. Well—that agenda turns into policy that has nothing to do with what’s real.

Because to me, what’s real is that there is no morality on earth, no Jesus on earth, no fetuses on earth, not even any democrats or republicans on earth.

There’s actions and there’s consequences and there’s coping mechanisms and there’s support structures and there’s basic needs and there’s the passing of time.

And there are human beings on earth coping without much other than pain and uncertainty.

They’re disconnected confused broke lonely, their education has little to do with what they really crave to learn—like, how to find a purpose that’s aligned with their interests, or a place to stand that feels like a place to feel proud of, and the skills to function with dignity and the courage to communicate what’s real for them, and to authentically connect with people instead of constantly feeling like they have to protect themselves. Not to mention the physical toll of living decades like this.

Thankfully there are a lot of quality humans that work hard to find solutions so that society can work for everyone.

But instead of making bridges between the people who need support and the people who have the skills to offer it, these other particular people in politics who are avenging their own unresolved issues from their past are going to keep standing in the way and have everyone watch how tough they are that they can have their equivalent of diarrhea in a public restroom and put a stop to everything.

There are a million issues that need to be improved upon, but in my opinion, considering what’s just happened, any jerk who would defend the right for anyone to own an assault rifle instead of switching allegiances to make sure assault rifles aren’t being sold to unhinged people is pathetic and embarrassing.

Owning an assault rifle is not a need. Quality mental health education in schools is a need. Support for families is a need. Universal Health care is a need. People listening and caring for people is a need. Politicians not being given hundreds of thousands of dollars to pretend to care about anything but being right is a need.

When politicians sit in their own context imagining they know what’s right for other contexts, it’s not only small-minded, but it’s a magnet for small-mindedness.

To me, quality policy makers leave their personal contexts to learn about what others need and get busy figuring out how to get those resources to people who need them, simply bc it’s the right thing to do.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
Thoughts about the NRA...
 

The thing that gets me about the culture of gun rights activists is that they would even WANT unhinged people being able to access their precious inventory of guns.

Wouldn’t they, of all people, want to be extremely selective about the kinds of people who deserve the right to carry guns?

They love the idea of citizenship. Wouldn’t they be the ones gathering together to demand congress pass laws so that their culture isn’t stained by people who aren’t properly vetted and registered to use guns to protect instead of to incite violence?

I’m amazed that staunch gun rights activists would not only waste their time defending these unhinged people’s ‘rights’ but that they wouldn’t use their time getting them as far away from their gun culture as possible.

To me it makes the NRA itself appear unhinged.

Guns don’t shoot themselves? That’s right. They’re either shot by law-abiding people who find it necessary to own a gun, or they’re shot by people who are looking for a way out of their hell and have found it easier to access a gun than to access help.

That the NRA has decided against common sense has shown, at least to me, that the entire organization has sunk beneath common sense.

Gathering together after the murder of children to banter about evil, as if evil exists on its own, as if it hasn’t been created and mass-produced with the help of an entire society whispering, “You have no value unless you are aggressive at every turn.”

So much immaturity.

And all their advocates and staunch supporters letting their own triggers be pulled like little mini Pavlov’s dogs at the mere mention of words like ‘assault rifle’ ‘ban weapons’ ‘background checks’.

The NRA and those who’ve received much of their fortunes through the NRA have trained their members to be attack dogs instead of offering their members a paradigm through which to think deeply and responsibly.

Poor Eddie Eagle would be in tears.

The NRA could be helping people to juggle multiple contexts at once and be available to discuss solutions with flexibility and nuance so that solutions could work to make not only the gun culture more respectable, but solutions that could actually help keep citizens safer.

But instead, they’ve dumbed it down to dangerous. They’ve indoctrinated their people to viciously support labels at the expense of better ideas.

Well to me, a loud voice is only good for one thing—sounding an emergency. And I hear all those people yelling, but not thinking clearly enough to identify the real emergency and what to do about it.

It’s listening and responding that brings change and invites intelligent conversation to begin.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
Plant a seed of peace in your heart...
 

Prayer That Came To Me At 3am:

You can plant a seed of peace in your heart instead of waiting on another to plant one for you. Water it daily, and you will feel this peace within you grow, regardless of your circumstances.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
There's My Phone...
 

Sometimes I think people would rather keep their sacred self to themselves than risk pushing it through all their protective gear only to have it dismissed or worse, skipped right over. But the thing I’m realizing is how important it is to share your favorite part of yourself. Not for others, but for this part of you. So that it gets to blossom out in the world, instead of being forced to stay buried as a seed longing to reach its full potential.

 
Jessica Kane
Something New Trying To Emerge...
 

Whenever I feel stuck, I long for a breakthrough. To crack my veneer and step outside of my safety and into something new.

But having a breakthrough isn’t a graceful process. We literally have to birth ourselves through something very small to enter the bigger space we long for.

I often wonder why we stop tallying milestones after walking and running. We still have to figure out where we want to go and who we want to be on our journey there.

And just the act of going anywhere can be a scary endeavor, because it’s so unpredictable. But yet, we also know that staying stuck winds up being equally deadly, maybe more.

I’m not saying we have to pack up and ship out.

Breaking through can be done not only in distances but in depths. So long as you travel somewhere, the destination doesn’t seem so important. Just that you’re breaking through what you already know to discover something new.

But when you do embark, please make sure you take with you some self-soothing for when you get hurt, and some values to anchor you so you don’t get lost.

And don’t forget to share what you discover, it just might help someone else feel less alone and stuck.

 
Jessica Kane
Prejudiced Hearts...
 

I have an idea for a great replacement—to replace the violent and ignorant idea that anyone’s worth is inherently greater than another because of what they look like or believe in, with recognizing that everyone has an equal right to be alive and to thrive and with access to resources to make this possible.

From A Book of Hearts.

 
Jessica Kane
The Day The Mourning Doves Almost Got Divorced
 

From Feed It to the Worms, a collection of very short stories for small children.

I woke up to a couple mourning doves fighting in my garden. They were yelling at each other nonstop to the point where I had to go outside and say, “Guys, what is going on?”

They both folded their wings and looked at the sky instead of each other and tapped their feet. And I said, “Hey, don’t you guys mate for life?” And they both shrugged.

“Come on, don’t tell me you’re gonna be the first mourning doves to get divorced?!”

They shrugged again.

“You’re gonna ruin your family’s tradition? Over what? What could be the big deal?”

And they both blurted out together, “She doesn’t listen to me!” “He doesn’t listen to me!” And then they both said, “See?”

“Oh boy,” I said. “I know what the problem is. Neither of you are wearing thinking caps.”

“What??” they both yelled. “Birds don’t wear thinking caps!”

“Hold on,” I said. And I went to my craft bin and made a couple really tiny caps and placed them on their tiny heads. And after a minute, they both smiled.

“You look funny,” the one said to the other.

“Oh yeah?” she laughed. “You look pretty funny yourself.”

And then they both started laughing.

“Now,” I said. “Whenever you get mad at each other, just put on your thinking caps and look at each other till you find something meaningful to connect about. Ok??”

And every morning since, I get woken up by these guys laughing their beaks off.

The End.

-JLK

 
Jessica Kane
When we fire zingers into people’s hearts to protect our own…
 

When we fire zingers into people’s hearts to protect our own…



I once saw a car swerve, right itself, and continue on without knowing that the car behind his wound up losing control and crashing into a guardrail.

 

Makes me wonder how many people have been pushed out of their lane, out of opportunities, or pushed into heightened states of panic or depression by people who simply had no awareness that they were the ones causing the trouble.

 

I wonder how many lives are wrecked by these unaware proverbial vehicles, who would never for a split second imagine that they were responsible for any of it? For any atrocity whatsoever?

 

Some people would rather run over everyone with reactiveness at the mere mention that they might have a blind spot, than consider that maybe they actually have something to do with the unhappy faces around them.

 

It’s an uncomfortable feeling to admit that we could be part of what’s causing problems. That in the midst of fighting our own private revolutionary wars we could be causing collateral damage. Firing zingers into people’s hearts to protect our own without realizing that those other people meant no harm.

 

When my mother passed, everyone who knew her called to say how sorry they were and to lament about how sad her life had been. Some even told me her life helped them to see how blessed their own was. 

 

But I wonder, did they stop for a second to consider their own complicity in any of the many circumstances that caused her to fall through the cracks, and sink so deeply that she literally passed on to another world? Did they imagine she dug her own grave solely by her own two hands?

 

Even when I tried to communicate that I felt some responsiblity for my mother’s death, they said, “Oh, you’re too hard on yourself.” Maybe, but why would I not take some responsibility? And why would they avoid seeing theirs?

 

It’s not easy to face the role we all play in the consequences of cause and effect. To take off our good guy costumes and at least recognize that life is complicated, and that our choices, in one way or another, impact other living breathing beings.

 

Not to shame or punish ourselves, but just to reposition ourselves from imagining we are observers to realizing that we have dissociated ourselves from the scheme of things to protect ourselves, but are still in fact part of all these actions and consequences.

 

So many of us wear the hat of open-mindedness but how often do we refuse to allow the passing through of anything that doesn’t support our personal agenda, refusing to consider at all costs that our personal politics, they way we run our individual lives, are part of the dysfunction at large?

 

For me, I think it’s important to consider that the way I once treated another might have been part of the reason they needed to find god. Or as Caroline Myss put it, part of their motivation for enrolling in primal scream therapy. Because it softens my edges and reminds me just how connected we all are, whether we like it or not.

And maybe if we realized just how connected we really are, we’d invest in building more bridges of understanding between us, instead of imagining we live on separate islands.

 

-JLK

 

 
Jessica Kane
Peck, Peck, Peck
 

Once upon a time, I gave a woodpecker a sandwich.

He couldn’t believe it. “All our lives,” he cried. “Pecking away at trees . . . giving ourselves headaches . . . and we could have been eating sandwiches!?”

I felt so terrible, I made him some to bring back to his family.

His family had a similar reaction. But once they calmed down, they were glad to have the sandwiches.

And ever since, the forest has been much more peaceful.

Though I wish they could figure out how to make the sandwiches themselves.

The End

-JLK

From Feed It to the Worms, a collection of very short stories for small children.

 
Jessica Kane